Inappropriate emotions

Bandler and Grinder postulated that there are no inappropriate emotions, just contextual mismatches.

It's appropriate to laugh, but not at a funeral. It's appropriate to cry, but not at a comedy show.

Their position was that laughter and crying are appropriate but must be matched to the situation.

The other part of this is there are no inappropriate emotions or states...and I think I have a problem with that. Just yesterday while training Self Management, we came across this when doing the 'Automatics' process to help someone disconnect from a time when they exhibited behaviour or a state that was useless.

I'd suggest that there are some states and emotions that are useless. Here's a short list (and please send along your suggestions if you find more)

- Rage
- Despair
- Self Pity
- Resentment

Here's a quote I came across this morning while reading something Steve Andreas wrote.

Remember - this is from a guy who spent 27 years in prison...

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your
enemies.

--Nelson Mandela