Coming to terms with your inner ‘Lost Japanese Soldiers’
I think it was Robert Dilts who originally coined the term ‘Inner Terrorist’ to describe those parts of us that gets us to do what we don’t want to do…somehow. I call them ‘Lost Japanese Soldiers’ in honour of Hiroo Onada who was the last soldier still fighting WWII many years after it ended.
Before we get into his story, I want you to think for a second about those inner voices, pictures or feelings that cause you to do what you have, maybe even forcefully decided NOT to do.
For example, think of a time when you absolutely positively decided to make a positive change in your life, like maybe you decided to stop smoking or go on a diet or finally start that exercise program only to NOT do it ultimately.
So what happened? What happened between the time of decision and the time of doing?
Well, basically, the part of you that made the positive decision was undermined by another part of you… You can understand why Robert called them ‘inner terrorists’!
Afterward, it’s very likely that you felt bad about yourself for not starting to not sticking with the decision. In fact I’ve had some coaching clients who were pretty good at being angry at themselves.
So how does this work exactly? How do we have ‘parts’ of ourselves undermining other parts? Well to explain it, first I need to tell you a story…
The Lost Japanese Soldier
In 1944 a 23-year-old solider named Hiroo Onoda was sent to the Philippines. Stationed on the small island of Lubang, southwest of Manila, his orders were to engage in guerilla warfare against the Americans.
Little did he know that the next 29 years of his life would be spent fighting World War II.
Almost immediately his garrison was almost wiped out by an American invasion. Onada and a few men were the only survivors of the ferocious attack. After their escape, Onada and his men survived by occasionally raiding nearby villages and killing local’s cows for meat.
Many months later on one such raid, they found a leaflet that said the war had ended and to come out of hiding. The men decided it was Allied propoganda and ignored it.
In fact over the subsequent years, they ignored fliers, newspapers, and letters from relatives dropped from airplanes. Clever hoaxes they decided.
Originally Onada led 3 others, but over the years some left, others were killed as they were continually hunted by the Phillipine army.
In October 1972 his last comrade was killed in a shootout with a Filipino police patrol. When word spread back to Japan that Kinshichi Kozuka had been killed; people correctly surmised that Onada could actually be alive although he had been legally declared dead in 1959.
In 1972 a Japanese student had managed to track him down, but unable to convince Onada that the war was over, he was able to track down his old commander.
Showing up in his original uniform, the commander was finally able to convince Hiroo Onada that the war was over.
Onada formally surrendered to Ferdinand Marcos in 1974.
(Thanks to Wikipedia and http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=253)
Cool story huh? Okay so what does this have to do with you not going to the gym regularly?
It’s like this: Hiroo Onada never got the e-mail. He never got the phone call…in fact, he was never told in just the way he needed to be in order to be convinced that the world had moved on; that he wasn’t in danger anymore…
Now if you think of your own life, how many times have you found yourself reacting in ways that were inconsistent with your adult values and understanding of the world?
In each of us there are ‘lost Japanese soldiers’ – parts acting as if we are (for example) still the dumb kid or the fat kid or the unattractive kid. Even though it’s not true anymore if it ever was. Given the right circumstances, that 8 year old part will frantically push the adult part out of the way to take care of business. In an ironic way that 8 year old part is now the expert in dealing with that sort of situation, even though it doesn’t have the appropriate resources to do so properly…
Now think back to the moment when you decided NOT to go to the gym (or quit smoking etc). Could it be possible that at that moment an old lost part needs to smoke or to be unhealthy or to be out of shape in order to accommodate its 5 year-old idea of the world?
Really it’s not that far off. Until these parts are convinced the world has actually changed, they will continue to stick around waiting to protect you from the scary looking neighbour when you were 14, or the sibling who bullied you.
On those rare occasions when your behaviour doesn’t turn out the way you had planned, understand that at some point in your life a ‘part’ was formed most likely to protect you. Instead of getting angry at that party, try to understand when it was formed and what it’s trying to do for you now.
And realize that whatever age you are now, that part is still frozen in time with all the resources and understandings at that age. When you’re fighting with that part, it has all the subtle understanding of the world that a 5 or 8 or 14 year old has…and if you’ve ever had a serious disagreement with a young kid (I.E. a zealot with no morals) you know that you’ll never win.
So now you know why you can’t quit smoking, get to the gym, or eat better…not until you deal with your ‘lost Japanese Soldier’.
Before we get into his story, I want you to think for a second about those inner voices, pictures or feelings that cause you to do what you have, maybe even forcefully decided NOT to do.
For example, think of a time when you absolutely positively decided to make a positive change in your life, like maybe you decided to stop smoking or go on a diet or finally start that exercise program only to NOT do it ultimately.
So what happened? What happened between the time of decision and the time of doing?
Well, basically, the part of you that made the positive decision was undermined by another part of you… You can understand why Robert called them ‘inner terrorists’!
Afterward, it’s very likely that you felt bad about yourself for not starting to not sticking with the decision. In fact I’ve had some coaching clients who were pretty good at being angry at themselves.
So how does this work exactly? How do we have ‘parts’ of ourselves undermining other parts? Well to explain it, first I need to tell you a story…
The Lost Japanese Soldier
In 1944 a 23-year-old solider named Hiroo Onoda was sent to the Philippines. Stationed on the small island of Lubang, southwest of Manila, his orders were to engage in guerilla warfare against the Americans.
Little did he know that the next 29 years of his life would be spent fighting World War II.
Almost immediately his garrison was almost wiped out by an American invasion. Onada and a few men were the only survivors of the ferocious attack. After their escape, Onada and his men survived by occasionally raiding nearby villages and killing local’s cows for meat.
Many months later on one such raid, they found a leaflet that said the war had ended and to come out of hiding. The men decided it was Allied propoganda and ignored it.
In fact over the subsequent years, they ignored fliers, newspapers, and letters from relatives dropped from airplanes. Clever hoaxes they decided.
Originally Onada led 3 others, but over the years some left, others were killed as they were continually hunted by the Phillipine army.
In October 1972 his last comrade was killed in a shootout with a Filipino police patrol. When word spread back to Japan that Kinshichi Kozuka had been killed; people correctly surmised that Onada could actually be alive although he had been legally declared dead in 1959.
In 1972 a Japanese student had managed to track him down, but unable to convince Onada that the war was over, he was able to track down his old commander.
Showing up in his original uniform, the commander was finally able to convince Hiroo Onada that the war was over.
Onada formally surrendered to Ferdinand Marcos in 1974.
(Thanks to Wikipedia and http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=253)
Cool story huh? Okay so what does this have to do with you not going to the gym regularly?
It’s like this: Hiroo Onada never got the e-mail. He never got the phone call…in fact, he was never told in just the way he needed to be in order to be convinced that the world had moved on; that he wasn’t in danger anymore…
Now if you think of your own life, how many times have you found yourself reacting in ways that were inconsistent with your adult values and understanding of the world?
In each of us there are ‘lost Japanese soldiers’ – parts acting as if we are (for example) still the dumb kid or the fat kid or the unattractive kid. Even though it’s not true anymore if it ever was. Given the right circumstances, that 8 year old part will frantically push the adult part out of the way to take care of business. In an ironic way that 8 year old part is now the expert in dealing with that sort of situation, even though it doesn’t have the appropriate resources to do so properly…
Now think back to the moment when you decided NOT to go to the gym (or quit smoking etc). Could it be possible that at that moment an old lost part needs to smoke or to be unhealthy or to be out of shape in order to accommodate its 5 year-old idea of the world?
Really it’s not that far off. Until these parts are convinced the world has actually changed, they will continue to stick around waiting to protect you from the scary looking neighbour when you were 14, or the sibling who bullied you.
On those rare occasions when your behaviour doesn’t turn out the way you had planned, understand that at some point in your life a ‘part’ was formed most likely to protect you. Instead of getting angry at that party, try to understand when it was formed and what it’s trying to do for you now.
And realize that whatever age you are now, that part is still frozen in time with all the resources and understandings at that age. When you’re fighting with that part, it has all the subtle understanding of the world that a 5 or 8 or 14 year old has…and if you’ve ever had a serious disagreement with a young kid (I.E. a zealot with no morals) you know that you’ll never win.
So now you know why you can’t quit smoking, get to the gym, or eat better…not until you deal with your ‘lost Japanese Soldier’.
posted by Hugh Comerford at 1:06 PM
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